Reference: BL, MS Cotton Galba D X f.194r-195v
Citation: DCB/001/HTML/0059/008
Date: 07 December 1594
Note:
lettertext
fol.194r
Later Addition: Decemb[er] [Master Bod]ly to the Lord Treasurer
Maye it please your good L: to receave the originall lettres, which your L: writte unto me in my last negotiation: with which I send you none of myne, because I doe presume that they are still in your custodie. But the lettres, beying manie and conteining dyvers matters, I have made an abstract of as muche, as appertained unto that, for which your L: desyred to reviewe them againe. Soe as now I submitte me to your honorable censure, whether I had /not/ just occasion to thincke I was forgotten, as I complai- ned unto you with all duetifull reverence, in a lettre from the Hage. And where I am burdened by your L: that not onely at the first, assoone as I returned, but now againe verie latelie, I have made my moane unto her Majestie that you gave me no direction, howe to deale in her affaires, and that you sought to disgrace, and discredit my service, with some other speeches uttered prejudiciall to your honor, I am moste humblie to beseeche you, not to thincke soe hardlie of me. For if my othe in that behalf maye suffice to sette me cleare, I will alwayes be readie to satisfie your L:, or if you please to taxe me with it in her Majesties presence, yowe shall not fynde me to varie from my privat pro- testations: Howsoever you shall enjoyne me to make my purgation, I will doe it willinglie and sincerelie, and [.] /referre/ my self unto you without craving other judge. True it is first that when I returned, and her Majestie requyred to know the reason, why the states came so slowely with their succors, I delyvered that aunswer which I had receaved and was al- [In margin: [[.]]y had [[.]]ed the- [[.]] the lettres [[.]]ought]wayes their aunswer in all their assemblies. That they could not well determine to send anie shipping, till her Highnes resolution were imparted unto them, for the strength of her Navie, and all her provisions, /&/ for the conduct of those forces, which they should send in companie, with everie other cir- cumstance, wherto her Highnes then replyed, that I had notice fol.194v
from your L: of all that was requisit, and that the fault was in [[.]] the States did not knowe it. Whereupon I was inforced for dis[[charge]] of my duetie, to relate in what manner I was informed of he[[r Majesties]] pleasure, Not directly by Instruction receaved from your L: [[but]] by addresse unto that which Master Caron should propose in his lettres to [[the]] States. She demaunded /of me/ then, what course of proceeding I [[had]] used upon it, and drewe me on to aunswear to dyvers particu[la-] rities: but howe unwillinglie and sparingly I parted with /my/ auns[[wear]] and how I qualified my speeches to meete with all dislikes [[.]] she might happely have conceaved, and did seeme to insinuat[[.]] for that omission of your L: because her Majestie onelie is my w[[.]] I can not otherwise make it manifest, but by appeale to her [[re-]] membrance. And if it came soe to passe, that either of [[.]] self she were offended, with your L: that I was no more re[[.]] or in her princely consideration she found it otherwise expe[[.]] to saye that I had complained, I am with all submission to [[.]] you to give /in/ a favorable construction, and to attribut it, as [[.]] maye, in your judgement and wisdome, to her Majesties good pleasu[[re.]] For howsoever your L. seemeth to note me of ingratitude, and o[[.]] of integritie, and duetifull affection, or to suspect me of some [[.]] or practise against you, in very trueth in this case I should [[be]] very little mooved, with these strange imputations, but [[.]] I see they are accompanied with your heavie displeasure. For I carie within me, I thancke god, a verie great testi[[.]] of a nature undefiled with those vitious dispositions. [.] soe your L. shall fynde it, if ether you /your self shall/ please to trie me, t[[.]] hlie, or to inquire it out of others with whome I have con[[.]]
And thus I have declared that which passed in speeche at [[.]] first accesse unto her Majestie, to whome I fynde it hardlie po[[.]] that your L: should be informed, that I renued those matters [[.]] a latter complaint. For all the talke that I had as touching [[.]] your L. was very respective, and tended wholly to notifie my [[.]] devotion unto you. In breaking a suite unto her, abo[[ut]] fol.195r
my entertainment, I lett her understand, that I meant to have spoken to your L. first, but that I would not pretermitte that present opportunitie to sollicit for myselfe. Withall I added this, That I knew /not/ yet very well in what termes of good lyking I stoode with your L., but my trust was alto- gether, that by her gratious mediation, as I had formerly requested, and she had alsoe promised, I should be restored to your honorable favor. Wherto her aunswear was againe, that she knew no other of you, but that still you were affected as you had bin heeretofore, and that she sawe no other cause, sith this was all the difference, that you had written unto me of everie thinge in particular (whereof she said she was assured) at the self same time as the Agent of the States was made acquainted with her purpose, and that I (as it seemed, had receaved no such lettre, for that perhaps it had miscaried. But yet she pressed me soe neere, in the course of her spee- hes, as if it could not be otherwise, but that it came unto my handes, that I was driven to protest upon the allea- geance of a subject, that I had never no such lettre, And this was all the communication that was then of your L:.
Some three dayes after, as I remember, I came to request Sir Robert Cecill, to affourd me his helping hand in re- comending unto you the continuation of my paye: and though he tould me then somewhat that had bin uttered by her Majestie as touching your L:, yet I had no parte of any thought that any matter of misconstruction had spronge of any speeches at my last beyng with her, but thought that all had proceeded of the occasions presented upon the first conference. For if I had at that tyme but suspected the contrarie, I am right well assured that before I had parted from him, I had put him out of doubt of anie ill office done by me. But because I was not soe happie, and your L. now a freshe fol.195v
Endorsed: December 7 94
is ill persuaded of my dealing, I must ende with this con[[.]] and petition unto you; That if nothing ofered, or alleadg[[ed]] can wype out these impressions in your L. conceat, it may [[.]] stand with your good liking, to be a meanes that her Hig[[hnes .]] cleane discharge me of my service in the lowe contrey ca[[uses.]] For I muste make this account, and I am sure I shall [[.]] erre, that as longe as this persuasion possesseth your m[[.]] I shall neither be able to keepe a currant correspondence [[.]] writing to your L., nor purchase credit to my selfe, or adva[[.]] to my state by any endevor that I can use. I had [[.]] reason now at lenght to put my selfe in good hope, that [[.]] myne yeares continuance in her Majesties service, of which [[I]] have bin imployed in the partes beyond the seas, with her conti[[.]] approbation, I might have tasted, as others, by your honorab[[le]] furtherance, of her bountie and benevolence: but if my [[.]] in that behalf, by these sinister reportes, and undeserved conc[[.]] be altogether frustrat, I protest unto your L., that I had [[.]] make choise, to live privatlie at home, and bestowe my [[.]] cogitations how to better my poore estate, by some /other/ kinde [[of]] industrie, then to spend any longer time in expectati[[on of]] reward, when I am not well assured of your L. good op[[inion.]]And thus referring whatsoever I have signified in t[[his]] lettre, or in the abstract of the rest to be weighed in the balla[[nce]] of your singular wisdome. I take my humble leave. December 7 1594.
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